Starting Over at Any Age - My Personal Journey

Has the thought of starting over crossed your mind? It happens to a lot of us—though sometimes we end up dismissing it, only to wonder why we don’t feel satisfied.

Maybe earlier in your life you chose something that seemed to be an easier option at the time. A person, situation, or career crossed your path, and you thought that life would be simpler if you just went along with what was in front of you. Then time goes by until you realize things aren’t simple and you end up asking yourself why you feel so hollow. Life has fallen short of your expectations, and you don’t know what to do.

You Are Not Alone!

Think of a time when you were down and out. Perhaps, there was financial pressure, a relationship breakup, a divorce, or death. You felt alone and were lonely, misunderstood by others. Perhaps it is because of the fairy tales you were told as a child that allowed you to feel that a “fairy tale reality” really existed in the first place.

You were in a vulnerable state and feeling stuck. Because you were in a rut, you gave up and took the path of least resistance. You gave your power over to another person or situation, willing to go along for the ride as long as you didn’t have to think about anything.

Dismissing the idea of healthy boundaries, you allowed yourself to be eroded to better fit into their schedule, their environment, their life. You let someone else take control of your world… your environment… even yourself. 

Once you let your sense of Self and who you were as a person to be overtaken, you let go of your courage and resilience. You forgot the basic principles of who you are or what made you tick.

How do I know all the emotional traps one falls into?  Because I was that person! Allow me to share my story of rekindling my inner light for a new start.

My Story: Feeling Trapped

There were many reasons that led up to me finding myself trapped in a situation where I felt I had no way out. I was a widow. I had not really had a significant relationship in a long time when I met someone new. The red flags were there but I chose to ignore them. It seemed easier just to go along in what felt like a steady relationship even though it was not fulfilling. Day by day, that relationship drained more of my energy away. I felt like I was always walking on eggshells all the time.

The “carrot” (promise) of marriage was always being dangled in front of me. I felt the patterns of his bad behavior never changed. I felt I was slowly dying inside and I could not take the excuses, the lies, and the lack of attention anymore. I finally woke up and realized that in order to survive, in order to recover “me” I needed to leave. I needed to move out. I needed to start all over again!

How was I going to do this? I had compromised so much in my life to be with this person, my work, my financial well-being, my best friend and most importantly me.

I knew I had to do something, anything, or I would remain stuck in a situation where I felt confused, bewildered, and looking for validation. I finally realized the lies I had told myself to stay in a relationship. I so desperately wanted to be loved, cherished and to be a priority, that I compromised myself.

Breaking Free