Managing Online Relationships: A Guide to Virtual Love

Technology has evolved the concept of dating in many ways. When trying to find your special someone, you literally have access to countless singles waiting to be discovered on your phone or computer. You can connect/reconnect with virtually anyone on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. just by having a common interest or friend.  Social Media, cell phones, dating websites, and apps have opened up an entire new world where it’s possible to meet, fall in love and form a serious relationship… without ever physically being in the presence of your other half.  Managing online relationships is the new normal in this world of hyperconnectivity. Welcome to the age of…

Digital Lovers

We've been told our whole lives that communication is key to every healthy relationship. Having a strictly online or digital connection actually takes this to a very real and emotionally tangible depth. Emotional intimacy in virtual relationships should come naturally because it’s entirely based on communication. So, wouldn't something that's solely based on just that be something we can truly count on? Absolutely

Knowing another person is motivated to talk to us as much as a strictly online relationship takes is very humbling. When we find someone that we can talk to about anything, it's just as soul connecting as physically being with them in our daily lives. We appreciate being heard and there's deep value in getting to know them. 

Can On-Line Only Relationships Last?

Many ask me if these online relationships are real and if they can last. The truth depends on the relationship. These are real people making real efforts. There are a couple things we need to consider here, some conditions we need to see if we can meet for those questions to balance out. 

First what is driving each person? What's the incentive? Love is very real and can be fully felt and appreciated in online relationships. Both parties need to be honest about their thinking. Once you sense and hear that the other person is sincerely on the same level as you are let that drive your intentions. This will lead to being honest about how you feel for each other. Surviving online dating challenges becomes much easier when both parties are honest.

Fear and Online Relationships

Don't let fear come in and create trust issues. If two people are mutually sharing the time and attention with one another that's a very real relationship. Being honest with your significant other is giving everything you can. Share your charm through mutual interests. Be amorous by setting time aside to just focus on them, no distractions. This is real and this person is willing to spend the same amount of attention on you.

Relationships have responsibilities and if you've only just started having online only connections here are some tips for people new to digital dating: 

1. Things can kick off fast, that's not a bad thing. Be realistic about how much time you can consistently give. 
2.  At some point communication can slow down just due to life, think ahead about your day and let your person know what’s up. Sometimes when communication slows down in an online relationship the other person gets worried your interest may be waning. We don't want to throw someone for a loop if there's no reason to. For example, if you have dinner with a client from work, a night out with the girls, or are even just feeling sick and need to go to bed early during a time you would usually be chatting with your lover, just tell them in advance like you would if it was someone you lived with or were physically dating. Which leads to…
3. Be prepared to learn to communicate well. Seriously, your attitude will come through in how frequently you talk and what you talk about. Mutual interests are great but be ready to encourage new adventures. Help build your person up in their daily life.
4. Now that I mention it, talk about your day and activities. Online relationships have depth thanks to those very details. These relationships have so much to look forward to, once it has grown and there's a depth with your person you can get ready to really share. 
5. Face to face video is a genuine avenue to really bring pleasure into knowing your person of interest. Just like in real life relationships, this is more than entertainment. This is where souls become one. Use videos and pictures. Keep it very, very real. You don’t always have to have on full make up and a cocktail dress before you turn on your phone or web camera.  Sometimes seeing the “real” you can help them appreciate you even more. 

Managing Highs and Lows in Online Relationships 

Will online relationships have stages and cycles? Highs and lows? As much as I want to say they are simpler... they are not.

And I find it's because we still have needs and other things that we have to focus on outside the relationship. All of that will affect our love life, no matter if the relationship happens mostly online or off-line. But those outside influences throw in necessary phases for us to see our significant other in all forms of their character. And as in an off-line relationship, we will be able to watch and feel them make choices about their lives that also impact the relationship. 

Always keep that in mind that you are on a mutual path, and everyone has a rough day from time to time. Also, there are some things that can come into these relationships that can throw things way off track really quick. Physically being lonely can affect your mood. The other person's real-life connections can too, if you had a rough day at work, your sibling is in the hospital, or your best friend just got dumped and needs a shoulder to cry on, you may be distracted and not be there for your digital partner. Be honest here. 

Ghosting and Catfishing

I know this is getting long, but I can’t talk about this subject without bringing up this important subject too.  Another area I'm asked about a lot if the person they are connecting with is real. We all know ghosting and catfishing exist.

Protect your feelings and really dig into the reality of the person you are attracted to. Keep locations and full names private until you verify that this person is consistent. Remember, if you are asked to help financially it should be okay to say no. Don't send money or items to anyone. You're looking for emotional depth not a financial responsibility. 

In the beginning people's needs and wants come out fairly quickly as they show you what they expect from you. A healthy start to a relationship includes sharing our ideas and talking about things we love. Though insecurity and loneliness can cause some people to be less than straightforward. When meeting someone new, they may want to pique your interest by sending false images because they have actually constructed a false identity.

In this situation it's hard to see past the lie. The other person has so much fear about who they really are that they need to be seen as someone else. This is where patience as well as honesty on your part come in. Try to see the connection you have as a doorway for them to have a chance to honestly deal with their concerns about who they are. Being in this situation isn't easy for anyone and it's hurtful for both people. It is important to take it slow and be consistent. Since you are both in this it also shouldn't offend the other person if you bring this up as a concern.

Online relationships can throw us into needing clarity and understanding. If you are seeking advice or guidance, connect with your favorite psychic advisor to bring some balance back into your digital connection.